I Yam What I Yam
A friend of mine once told me, “People are what they are, and either you accept them or you don’t.” Since I believe it is possible for people to make life-changing decisions and alter themselves for the good (or bad), naturally, I disagreed. But I’ve thought about that statement for many years now, and I’ve come to believe that it is, in great part, true. My acceptance of this as fact neither gives license or limitation to individuals as they are or what they may become. Rather, it reflects an understanding of the deep-rootedness of character issues.
All of us need to make adjustments in our lives. We are to do this under the direction of God. Given this understanding, it is still true that people are born with or develop a wide variety of traits and tendencies. Such peccadilloes estrange us from each other. They make others seem more sinful than ourselves. These things that come so naturally to us make us what we are. They may or may not need to be changed, but they are entrenched in our personality. Some people like them, and others do not. Smoothing rough edges is the work of a lifetime.
Say a person is born (whatever) with a quick temper. Now, that person may get better over time. Certainly, they will need to make some changes in the areas of self-control and patience. Salvation and Christian growth can help. But that person will probably retain the tendency in some degree. It will continue to be a concern for them and a matter of prayer. What is true in this case is true of all of us in some area. Some people will make allowance for you and some will not. A hot-head is handy in some situations, so it’s not all bad.
Many people (men especially) will say that they’d rather be respected than liked. I used to say the same thing. Anymore, though, I think I’d rather be liked. If people like you, they will smile and slap you on the back when you make mistakes. If they only respect you, well, they can respect somebody else. Respect is a lot easier to lose than like. I make a lot of mistakes, so I need friends. Friends are people that stand by you. People won’t honor or help you out of respect unless you’re Michael Corleone.
None will be excused before God from being what they ought to be because of what they were naturally, but there should be some understanding of the human condition among believers. Jesus understands us and taught us to bear with one another. The grace of God allowed Paul to optimize his potential. Human grace can help, too. Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement, but we don’t have to agree with everything anyway. I am what I am, but by the grace of God and with the help of my friends it may not be all that I am.
Sterl
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